A beard is a nice fluid asset to have. It can make one look shabby or dignified; primitive or super-cool. It gives shelter to those pearly pimples or scary scars and acts as a canopy for pallid skin. So, I’ve decided to grow my beard. And I’m quite happy about it. Not that it makes me look any better; in fact, the ladies have been quite fierce in convincing me otherwise. But they don’t understand. It’s not about looking better or worse, it’s just about looking different. Now I know I’m growing old; I tire easily. I’m tired of looking into the same face every morning. It really scares me. You see, if I can’t put up with my own face for a prolonged period of time, how am I going to get married? [Relationships are ok; you can take your breaks after all] And I can’t ask my wife to grow a beard, can I?....No.....Good lord. Definitely no!! That doesn’t worry me too much; there’s time and I’m confident I can work something out.
Of course, facial hair does have its disadvantages. If shaped well with creativity and care, it is possible that the person might look a lot better; there’s hope. There may be a few minor exceptions to the rule. On women for example, somehow, I don’t think there’s much hope, unless of course the design is simply ingenious and her face exudes tremendous creativity. It might help if such a woman is seen at the circus. One, I’m sure, will be able to appreciate the art a lot better then.
I’m a jittery sort of person, never calm or composed, and very uncomfortable in the presence of women. Small things and passing thoughts frighten me effortlessly. I’m scared now; I just happened to grab on to one of those stray lines of thought and now I’m off track and stuck in parlous waters. How do you know if your girl isn’t one of those hirsute characters and lusus naturae, before it’s too late to get out of the bed, out of the house and out of the goddamned country? We men are at least more open about things. We don’t pull them out at their roots so that it doesn’t leave a trace. And if we shave, we don’t mind talking about it. It’s never bad manners to ask a man if he removed his facial hair. And hey, we don’t get embarrassed. You know how it is. On the wedding day, clear, resplendent skin; one week later, you’re in the Amazon.
Never mind. So, the other day, my friend and I saw this girl.
And he says, “Hey! Check that out. Good looking eh?”
I maintain this dark, contemplative silence.
“Why doctor? Do you not concur?”
“She looks good.”
“So you agree. She’s good looking.”
What do I say. “Yeah…whatever.” Some people just don’t understand subtle concepts. Yup. She can kill with a smile and wound with her eyes and all that, but it does not mean she’s good looking. The charm that second glances held for me earlier has become hoary. I sprain my neck almost every other day taking second glances. A woman who looks good merits a second glance and I see such women many times a day, every day. So, in those exiguous times when I actually realize that the woman not only looks good but she’s also good looking, I am inclined to be stuck in that second glance for an extended period of time. This remains so, until a benevolent passer-by wakes me up, helps me pick up my jaw from the ground and puts it back in place.
It’s a pity there aren’t too many of those women around. One cannot escape observing oneself. If someone is looking at you, then you obviously have to observe yourself; and if no one is observing you, then you have to observe yourself even more. Kafka said something along the same lines but in a rather different context. Sometime back, I asked a looking-good person I knew, why does everyone want to look good? “To feel good about themselves, of course”, she says. Then I wonder, why is it that they want to feel good about themselves only in public? At home, anything and everything that fits or doesn’t fit goes. So then I’m told that it is a confidence building measure. One, somehow, feels a lot more confident about oneself if they’re dressed well and neat. Oops! I’m corrected again. It’s not just about dressing well or dressing neatly; it’s also about looking attractive or looking sexy. Ah! Comprendo. So, now I understand that one dresses not just to feel good about themselves but also to make other people feel other things by looking at them. Being attractive means being able to draw others towards oneself. Therefore, when the goal is to be attractive, it is to………So, when I meet a person who’s taken a lot of effort in looking good, I make it point to tell them “Hey. You’re looking good today.” It’s considered one of the best compliments a person can receive.
That’s when I go into one of those vague thinking moods. So, they’re looking good today. But, what about tomorrow? I just gave a compliment and God knows I meant it. But does God know who I just complimented? Definitely not the person. The appearance? Probably. The choice of palliament? Possibly. The apparel and it’s accessories? Definitely. And therefore, I could never understand how the compliment could be taken personally.
I’m definitely going to grow a beard. It doesn’t matter if I don’t look good with it. Hell, it doesn’t matter if women can’t stand it. I’m not going to let my confidence hang on for dear life to my appearance. I’m not going to change my looks to suit every one else’s likes. I don’t want and I undoubtedly don’t have the need to attract.
[ Weekend’s coming up. Hmmm……must look pleasing. ]
Of course, facial hair does have its disadvantages. If shaped well with creativity and care, it is possible that the person might look a lot better; there’s hope. There may be a few minor exceptions to the rule. On women for example, somehow, I don’t think there’s much hope, unless of course the design is simply ingenious and her face exudes tremendous creativity. It might help if such a woman is seen at the circus. One, I’m sure, will be able to appreciate the art a lot better then.
I’m a jittery sort of person, never calm or composed, and very uncomfortable in the presence of women. Small things and passing thoughts frighten me effortlessly. I’m scared now; I just happened to grab on to one of those stray lines of thought and now I’m off track and stuck in parlous waters. How do you know if your girl isn’t one of those hirsute characters and lusus naturae, before it’s too late to get out of the bed, out of the house and out of the goddamned country? We men are at least more open about things. We don’t pull them out at their roots so that it doesn’t leave a trace. And if we shave, we don’t mind talking about it. It’s never bad manners to ask a man if he removed his facial hair. And hey, we don’t get embarrassed. You know how it is. On the wedding day, clear, resplendent skin; one week later, you’re in the Amazon.
Never mind. So, the other day, my friend and I saw this girl.
And he says, “Hey! Check that out. Good looking eh?”
I maintain this dark, contemplative silence.
“Why doctor? Do you not concur?”
“She looks good.”
“So you agree. She’s good looking.”
What do I say. “Yeah…whatever.” Some people just don’t understand subtle concepts. Yup. She can kill with a smile and wound with her eyes and all that, but it does not mean she’s good looking. The charm that second glances held for me earlier has become hoary. I sprain my neck almost every other day taking second glances. A woman who looks good merits a second glance and I see such women many times a day, every day. So, in those exiguous times when I actually realize that the woman not only looks good but she’s also good looking, I am inclined to be stuck in that second glance for an extended period of time. This remains so, until a benevolent passer-by wakes me up, helps me pick up my jaw from the ground and puts it back in place.
It’s a pity there aren’t too many of those women around. One cannot escape observing oneself. If someone is looking at you, then you obviously have to observe yourself; and if no one is observing you, then you have to observe yourself even more. Kafka said something along the same lines but in a rather different context. Sometime back, I asked a looking-good person I knew, why does everyone want to look good? “To feel good about themselves, of course”, she says. Then I wonder, why is it that they want to feel good about themselves only in public? At home, anything and everything that fits or doesn’t fit goes. So then I’m told that it is a confidence building measure. One, somehow, feels a lot more confident about oneself if they’re dressed well and neat. Oops! I’m corrected again. It’s not just about dressing well or dressing neatly; it’s also about looking attractive or looking sexy. Ah! Comprendo. So, now I understand that one dresses not just to feel good about themselves but also to make other people feel other things by looking at them. Being attractive means being able to draw others towards oneself. Therefore, when the goal is to be attractive, it is to………So, when I meet a person who’s taken a lot of effort in looking good, I make it point to tell them “Hey. You’re looking good today.” It’s considered one of the best compliments a person can receive.
That’s when I go into one of those vague thinking moods. So, they’re looking good today. But, what about tomorrow? I just gave a compliment and God knows I meant it. But does God know who I just complimented? Definitely not the person. The appearance? Probably. The choice of palliament? Possibly. The apparel and it’s accessories? Definitely. And therefore, I could never understand how the compliment could be taken personally.
I’m definitely going to grow a beard. It doesn’t matter if I don’t look good with it. Hell, it doesn’t matter if women can’t stand it. I’m not going to let my confidence hang on for dear life to my appearance. I’m not going to change my looks to suit every one else’s likes. I don’t want and I undoubtedly don’t have the need to attract.
[ Weekend’s coming up. Hmmm……must look pleasing. ]
1 comment:
u r a jittery man who feels uncomfortable around women??? dei..dun take advantage of the relative anonymity of a blog da..but at the end of the day..i guess the only reason anybody dreeses up is to attract people of the opposite sex...its just that the real reason is often lost to the conscious mind coz of years of taboo and 'feministic' thoughts...but i like ur thoughts on the beard man...i can identify with that...
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